Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
