it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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