fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
