Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
