Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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