i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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