If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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