That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
