i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize