this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
