We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
we're making bets on your personal life
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
