She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
