So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I wish I only lived at night.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
