I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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