Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
