I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
