This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
