Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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