I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
