I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize