i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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