I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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