who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
