I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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