Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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