I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
