I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
