Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
