so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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