I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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