he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
