According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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