i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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