sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
