there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
