i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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