He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
