Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
