wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
