he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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