I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
