His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
