i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
