I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
