Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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