The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
