I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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