I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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