at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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