Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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