i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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