I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
