Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
