I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
