he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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