im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
