there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
