Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
