i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
